Stalkers joking near campfires...

Bla-bla-bla-bla-lalal :)

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Postby Nemo » Sun Jul 27, 2008 10:26 pm

Heh, zone's humor is a bit peculiar but I like it :D :D
BTW: Gubr, you did altered a bit this one with road signs, didn't you? ;)
"Basicly, kind of a big deal(...)Grass grows, birds fly, sun shines, and brother, I hurt people(...) If you were from where I was from, you would be fu**ing DEAD, WOO-O!"
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Postby gubr » Sun Jul 27, 2008 10:42 pm

Nemo wrote:Heh, zone's humor is a bit peculiar but I like it :D :D
BTW: Gubr, you did altered a bit this one with road signs, didn't you? ;)


Yes, a bit. It was about anomalies and monsters and maybe some other small differences... But I'm trying to translate the joke not the words! )))

So one more...

Once upon a time veteran and novice stalkers were walking in the Zone. Suddenly veteran said to novice: "Quiet! Get down and crouch over there to that tree." Novice got nervous. Crouching and sweating. Finally he got to the tree and swinging with his hand: "So what's next?" And veteran cry out: "So I was right when I told them that there is no anomaly here!"

))))
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Postby gubr » Mon Jul 28, 2008 9:20 am

Once on the freedomers' HQ a brick fall down on a head of one of the guys. So people gathered around him and started to complain: "Where the hell this world is going to? No place for a person to walk without having a brick fall on your head!" And one less drunk freedomer learned carefully the body and cried out: "Shit, dudes, it's bloody flaming zombie!" And fredomers started to cry: "Holy Wishgranter, where the hell is this world rolling to? No place for a brick to fall without getting in zombie's head!!!"

)))))))
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Postby gubr » Tue Jul 29, 2008 12:07 am

Two stalkers came to a bar once. One came on old Niva (car) and other came on BMW. So the guy came out of BMW and waiting for his friend. The guy from Niva got out of the car and started to lock it. When his friend with BMW saw it - he started to laugh:
- What are you doing, man? Who the hell needs your car here? I came on BMW and still do not afraid of theft!
- Theft or not, but when I last time left it unlocked somebody shited on the seat inside!!!

))))
Last edited by gubr on Tue Jul 29, 2008 8:07 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby dez » Tue Jul 29, 2008 1:07 am

:DDD

what if we add them to the pda? i mean if you guys translate all :D and we will set them with infop. so if you stay for a while at campfires, you will get new stuff to your pda :)
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Postby gubr » Tue Jul 29, 2008 8:07 am

dezodor wrote::DDD

what if we add them to the pda? i mean if you guys translate all :D and we will set them with infop. so if you stay for a while at campfires, you will get new stuff to your pda :)


No problem! You can take them from here. I will check all others and translate them. And also you can check the link that Nemo mentioned somewhere here with everything translated. )
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Postby super-panda » Wed Jul 30, 2008 10:23 pm

More!!!!

Also gubr, think carefully before translating in english.

You must read it in the other language, then translate it into english, and then think about how you will write it. It seem simple, but you must be aware, even close languages like english and french mean nothing if they are translated into the other without rephrasing.
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Postby gubr » Thu Jul 31, 2008 11:35 pm

Freedomer's joke...

Once Duty folks prepared highly secret ambush on a path and cached a stalker there. And the stalker had full backpack of artefacts and horrible morning after. So the stalker decided to confess: "Look, Officer, let me go please! Everybody told me that overdrink is bad habit. I wish I followed the advices. If I was not drunk I would never come here. Yesterday all the Zone heard how you were making a secret ambush here!"
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Postby gubr » Thu Jul 31, 2008 11:40 pm

Freedomer's joke...

Once a controller was training a blinddog. And near him was standing a zombie and laughing at it. Controller got offended and said: "You know, stalker, I recall time when you were twisting like `I will not do this! I'm not gonna do that!`"
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Postby gubr » Thu Jul 31, 2008 11:45 pm

Announcement: A campaign for hunting monsters and collecting artefacts will take place tomorrow. Everybody who likes this idea - gather near bar at 10 O'Clock. This idea must be in 0.5 L bottles, two bottles per person.
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Postby gubr » Fri Aug 01, 2008 11:54 am

Once a bandit got lost in the Zone. And so he was walking, shaking and sweating. And crying: "Peeeeeoople! Heeeeelp! Saaaave me!" And in the forest not far from the walking bandit two stalkers watching him and one says: "Aha! When you lost in the Zone we are people? And when you loot us on the Garbage we are bitches and pederasts!" ))))
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Postby Nemo » Fri Aug 01, 2008 12:11 pm

Once a stalker got lost in zone's forests and he's wandering around and shauting: "Peeople! Help! Somebody! Anybody, can you hear me?!" And suddenly a monster put his hand on stalker's shoulder and says: "Why are you shouthing so badly?" Stalker replies: "I got lost and I thought someone will hear me" so the monster says: "I heard you, do you feel better now?"

:D
"Basicly, kind of a big deal(...)Grass grows, birds fly, sun shines, and brother, I hurt people(...) If you were from where I was from, you would be fu**ing DEAD, WOO-O!"
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Postby gubr » Fri Aug 01, 2008 12:21 pm

Nemo wrote:Once a stalker got lost in zone's forests and he's wandering around and shauting: "Peeople! Help! Somebody! Anybody, can you hear me?!" And suddenly a monster put his hand on stalker's shoulder and says: "Why are you shouthing so badly?" Stalker replies: "I got lost and I thought someone will hear me" so the monster says: "I heard you, do you feel better now?"

:D


Yeah, I like this one too! )))) I looked in Zone Survival Guide for jokes - but couldn't find all of them, just few here and there - can you put a link here?
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Postby super-panda » Fri Aug 01, 2008 11:22 pm

Hm. gubr I don't understand the one with the duty secret ambush, and the other one with the controller and the blindog.

I found that the joke traduced by nemo is written better, I understand it with quite less pain.

Also, how much there is? Is there any way to know?
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Postby gubr » Sat Aug 02, 2008 12:07 am

super-panda wrote:Hm. gubr I don't understand the one with the duty secret ambush, and the other one with the controller and the blindog.

I found that the joke traduced by nemo is written better, I understand it with quite less pain.

Also, how much there is? Is there any way to know?


Then I think Nemo will translate them from my english to his english and you will be able to understand it with your english! )))

I unpacked all sound files and check them out. I do not know how many of them with jokes there. )
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